Happy Belated St. Patrick's Day

I spent mine in a milking parlor, but here's some ways to celebrate the Irish holiday on the farm.


How to Celebrate St. Paddy’s Day on the Farm

1. Wake up and greet the day with enthusiasm. It’s St. Patrick’s Day! Salute the chickens with green beer and have some cereal. Milk or beer on cereal optional.

2. Go out to check the farm. Stop periodically, or every few steps, while throwing out square bales to cows to appreciate the day with a toast of green beer.

3. Walk around the farm, tutting and tinkering, sharing green beer with everyone you meet. Happy cows drink beer.

4. Lunch: more green beer.

5. Go to let chickens out and count eggs. Not sure why there are double the amount of usual. Shrug and drink more green beer.

6. Go out to check fence and count cows. More calves than usual. Offer them green beer.

7. Night chores. Drop green beer, curse, and run into tractor. Rub head and wonder why the barn won’t stand still. Shut cows in chicken house to roost for the night.

8. Time to join up with friends at the pub. Ride horse into town. Seems like horse had head this morning. Sing sad Irish ballads at the bar all night. Someone might even take pity on you and sing with you. Don’t let them drown you out with the jukebox, sing it loud!

9. Ride horse home. Still headless. Shrug. Distressed mooing from chicken coop. Let chickens out early. Wonder why they have four legs. More green beer and fall asleep in the driveway.

10. Happy St. Paddy's! And kiss me, I'm Scottish. :)