BLOGGER TEMPLATES - TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Farmer's Workout

http://iowafarmbureau.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/the-farmers’-workout/

It's not a time for New Year's resolutions, but here's some more things to consider about farmer fitness. It must be working. My dad is in his sixties and still wears the same size pants he did in high school. He also has great abs, which is a nice relief from the guy who mows lawn and has a belly covering his steering wheel. And I'm not talking about the mower.

Farmersize


It’s good to eat healthy, but to be healthy, you also have to move. Humans were designed to walk and bend and move around a lot, which is why some have said we’re running the latest software on a paleolithic hard drive. Our bodies are designed to be used, and when we don’t use them, they grow soft and flabby on us.

So I would like to bring you FARMERSIZE! That’s right, for the price of cows, you can get fit, ache and whine and throw your hips out of alignment.

First, you take a hungry group of grass-fed cows. Next, you push it to the next level by either being pregnant or pushing a baby in a stroller through places strollers were never designed to go. As an added cardio option, you’ll be bombarded by mosquitoes and have to fend them off as well. Don’t forget the workout itself, push through the woods, rolling out wire, pounding posts with a twenty-pound driver, then double back, fighting flimsy steel rods into the ground. Don’t lose those insulators! Every time a deer runs through your fence and pops one of those suckers off, you lose six cents. And at Barclay Farms we are too frugal to let deer get away with crap like that. So you’ll be spending lots of time feeding the mosquitoes while searching for insulators.

While you unroll wire with one hand, you’ll be pushing the baby through mud with the other. Don’t stop now! It’s also the baby’s naptime, so now he’s really tired. You’ll feel the burn as you rush between swatting mosquitoes off him and pulling dryer sheets out of his sticky grasp and sinking posts in along that final stretch of woods.

FARMERSIZE is free, because, let’s face it, who would pay to do this shit? So get ready to get as tired as you’ve ever been in your life and receive no thanks from the livestock for doing so. Get ready to FARMERSIZE!!

File:Tpost4.jpg
From WikiCommons

Monday, July 29, 2013

Calorie Burn on the Farm - from Calorielab.com


 ACTIVITY
15 minutes
1 hour
Farming, baling hay, cleaning barn, poultry work, vigorous effort
95
382
Farming, chasing cattle, non-strenuous (walking), moderate effort
34
136
Farming, chasing cattle or other livestock on horseback, moderate effort
41
164
Farming, chasing cattle or other livestock, driving, light effort
14
55
Farming, driving harvester, cutting hay, irrigation work
20
82
Farming, driving tractor
20
82
Farming, feeding small animals
41
164
Farming, feeding cattle, horses
48
191
Farming, hauling water for animals, general hauling water
48
191
Farming, taking care of animals
Grooming, brushing, shearing sheep, assisting with birthing, medical care, branding
68
273
Farming, forking straw bales, cleaning corral or barn, vigorous effort
95
382
Farming, milking by hand, moderate effort
27
109
Farming, milking by machine, light effort
7
27
Farming, shoveling grain, moderate effort
61
245
Chopping wood, splitting logs
85
340
Planting seedlings, shrubs
60
238
Gardening, general
51
204
Implied walking/standing - picking up yard, light, picking flowers or vegetables
34
136
Walking, gathering gardening tools
34
136
Carrying infant or 15 pound load (e.g. suitcase), level ground or downstairs
43
170
Pushing or pulling stroller with child or walking with children
26
102
Walking, grass track
68
272
Multiple household tasks all at once, moderate effort
43
170
Butchering animals
85
340
Cooking or food preparation
Including use of manual appliances while standing or sitting
17
68
Cooking or food preparation (with some walking)
26
102
Feeding animals
26
102
Putting away groceries, carrying packages
Specifically, carrying groceries, shopping without a grocery cart
26
102
Making the bed
17
68
Sitting - playing with child(ren) - light, only active periods
26
102
Standing - playing with child(ren) - light, only active periods
31
122
Carrying small children
34
136
Child care: sitting/kneeling - dressing, bathing, grooming, feeding, occasional lifting of child-light effort, general
26
102
Child care: standing - dressing, bathing, grooming, feeding, occasional lifting of child-light effort
34
136
Reclining with baby
9
34
Sit, playing with animals, light, only active periods
26
102
Stand, playing with animals, light, only active periods
31
122
Walk/run, playing with animals, light, only active periods
31
122
Sitting while reading a book or newspaper
5
20
Sitting while writing, doing desk work, typing
14
54
Standing while reading
14
54
Standing - miscellaneous
17
68
Calisthenics, heavy, vigorous effort
Including pushups, situps, pullups, jumping jacks
119
476