Friday, July 31, 2009

Anger Rant: Please excuse me, or is that screw you? Emotions are such a pain.

Anger. Rage. Fury. Wrath. And, strangely enough, passion. Synonyms for anger, that most pure emotion that allows you to feel at once both warm and cold, lustful and selfish. It’s a pure emotion and when caught in it, the whole world makes sense. It’s simple. I’m mad therefore I am. I was an angry teenager. I won’t go into why because the memories are… well, they suck, but they led to some quality rage in my day. I don’t get made much anymore and sometimes I wonder why. The simplicity of pure fury is intoxicating. It’s easy to be mad, much harder to focus through it and deal with other people. Women aren’t supposed to be angry. It’s an ugly emotion when you’re on the receiving end of it and women are supposed to be beautiful and serene, at least that’s the stereotype I’ve always gotten. But as I get older, I’ve realized that giving in to that pure anger is essential. Animals get angry. They give in to it, bite the thing that angered them, and get on with the day. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to give yourself over to it and roll around in it like a heeler dog in shit. It’s healthy. If we can give ourselves over to happiness, to worry, to the break-neck pace of American life, why do we feel so incapable of experiencing anger to its fullest? I’m not qualified to go into all the reasons why. But I do know that once in awhile, anger is essential. It needs to be experienced and let go for other emotions, better or worse ones, to come in. Maybe by learning how to handle our anger, we can learn how to handle other emotions better too, let them wash over and away, indulge in them, but not live in them. I love my anger, but I don’t want to live there. I love being in love, but it’s hardly practical for the everyday. I want my lust and passion, but I also want serenity and hope. Emotions are a cornucopia of life experiences. They should be managed, yes, but not ignored or repressed, but felt, enjoyed, dealt with, and put away for another time. After all, there’s no rule that says when, where, and how one can experience emotion. That is one freedom of choice we all have.