Sorry for the hiatus

Killing time until I have to leave for my poetry final. I have the portfolio done, finished yesterday and this morning, and just have to read my work to the class. Nothing too stressful. Figured I better get an entry in before I need to start studying for my anthropology final. I’ve had a handful of cumulative finals and of course one of them is my last semester.

On the farm over the last couple days, fighting with fence and cows that plotted a prison break, along with a barn door blown off and hitting myself in the mouth with the fencing tool, has kept me pretty busy. Yesterday, I FINALLY finished my poetry portfolio and celebrated by watching a movie with Joe. Didn’t get hardly anything else accomplished, besides laundry, dishes, made chicken broth, and exercised. It was an unproductive Monday, especially considering how I started it, full of ambition and drive. It’s funny how some days turn out like that. I mean, it wasn’t a bad day. I got to spend time with and talk to friends and, better yet, eat some awesome pizza.

I finished reading Bleak House a couple days ago. YEY! Good book, just a long one, especially at only 25 pages a day. But I got through it in two or three months, so I feel pretty good about it. I’ve been slaving though A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin. I like the book, its just not a quick read for me. The True History of the Kelly Gang, on the other hand, I read in two days and other people have said it’s a slow read. What’s good for the goose, I guess.

Poetry month is almost over, but I think I’m going to continue on with the project. Not just writing poems, but concentrating on one genre of writing over another for a particular month. Of course, that idea would probably work better if I could ever sit down and edit Taylor. I will as soon as I get these finals behind me, I think. Speaking of which, I better get my butt going. Wish me luck! Graduation here I come!!!

Michigan's two seasons, winter and fence repair

We had a prison break the night before last: my eighteen head cow herd decided they wanted grass and moved themselves across the road to their summer pasture, without leaving so much as a whole pile of poop in my grandma’s yard. Only two calves didn’t make it across and all I had to do was drop the temporary fence and shoo them across.

I spent the rest of the day (with beautiful weather, 75 degrees and 14% humidity, I might add) out repairing a bullshit mickey mouse fence. Dad said we’re holding cattle in with a piece of electric yarn and a prayer, heavy on the prayer.

Got a call mid-afternoon from neighbors almost five miles away saying they had cows out and were they ours? I got my butt down there but luckily it was someone else’s steers. That made me happy because the whole way there, I’m going “how in the hell will I get these cattle home? Horse? Trailer? What?” Thankfully, I didn’t have to and thirty minutes after Dad got home, we had electricity to the fence. And even got treated to dinner out.

The worst day farming remains better than the best day at college, I am convinced.

Shit shit shit

Can anyone spell burn-out? Okay, guess I can. The end of college is one project and one cumulative exam away. Just a little pressure there. I just want it to be over, finally. At one point, I thought I’d be done with college before I turned 21, but things go as things go, I’m 22 and almost finished. I guess that isn’t so off-base. After all, since I graduated high school a year early, I figured college could take an extra year.

Got a good night’s sleep last night (normal hours finally!) and I’m excited to go today. Missed my workout yesterday too, so doubling up today also. Get to do a little work on the farm, some outdoor stuff, deal with the farrier when he comes to trim horses, and write. There is just some kind of peace within myself knowing that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, so long as I’m productive, today. No crazy school schedule, nothing immediately due and pressing on me. It’s summer, so there is work and late nights in the field, or at the computer desk, whatever I choose. It seems that there are so few times in life when we actually get to decide things for ourselves. I find it vastly enjoyable when I can. Especially with Zip laying on my foot in the meantime.

And oh fuck gram just called and said cows are out from one side of the farm to the other. I wish she'd call me with good news once in a while. URG!

Happiness is a Warm Puppy

It’s one of those cool, early summer mornings where we’ve left the windows open all night so the house is cool and its absolute bliss to bury my feet under the dog’s belly.

Finally got through one of my remaining projects yesterday. Score! So there’s just three left, one being a quiz today. The count down is on! Actually, I better go study for the countdown. Just taking a moment in the midst of chaos to remind that happiness really is a warm puppy.

Another Sunny Sunday

A beautiful Michigan summer day today, aside from the insane, kamikaze flies and gnats already eating the cows’ and horses’ ears raw. Dad and I went riding, repairing high tinsel fence, and taking survey of winter damages that need addressed in these few weeks before we go to grass. I’m not sure the cows will be able to wait. They’re already pushing fences and we have about five round bales left. Lean winters, my ass, the worst times are between the thaw and the month before going to grass.

I finally realized that the block I’ve been bitching about is related to school more than anything else. Two portfolios, one quiz, and one cumulative exam stand between me and ESCAPE! And because I’m so keyed up trying to get the shit knocked out, and really don’t want to deal with them at all, I think it’s blocking everything else. Made a lot of progress tonight though and will probably get the rest done tomorrow (yes, I am one of those annoying students asking to hand their finals in early, at least in this class for this semester). But knowing that sure makes me feel better, that I will work through this mini-crisis.

I’m looking very forward to getting through the next couple days so I can get on to more important things, namely servicing the lawn mower and fixing fence, as well as barn repairs and cleaning that desperately need attending to. This damn college thing is really getting in the way of my farming habit. You farm kids know what I’m sayin’.

My puppy and ponies

One word for you: Procrastinating. Here are some pictures that always make me feel better though. Zip is a little shy of having his picture taken. He's also never sure which is his good side. :-P

Iris (the black horse) is blind, but the other horses are usually there to help her out. Sonny (the paint) is my horse. Very very fast and very very tall. And I am rather short. You do the math.

Blockages? Or bordom?

I have worked really hard not be one of those writers who claims writer’s block and has to retire to a dark room with a cold washcloth and a pint of every girl’s ideal threesome – Ben and Jerry. But some days, words on certain projects just come easier than others. And today with two essays on my own work staring me in the face, I find myself ready to go and redo the two-hour workout I just finished in order to avoid the dreaded blinking cursor.

I’ve tried all my usual tricks: switch between projects, change up the music, take a walk, doing laundry and dishes, and just flat tying myself to the laptop, but nothing seems to work for this. I need to just suck it up and write, but it is so much easier to find ways not to. Like pounding my head against the wall. That sounds like a lot more fun than writing four pages on the experience of working under this poet. But it is a learning curve. Life is all about knocking out the shit you don’t fucking wanna do, but doing it anyway to get to the fun stuff. I did the fun stuff first today (if you can count reading 25 pages of Bleak House, followed by a 30 minute walk and 90 minutes of weight training as fun) and now am shoveling the shit I’ve let pile up. It would be so much more fun if the shit were literal rather than proverbial. Oh well. We can’t always have that much fun out in the barn.

Sadly.

Cheers! ~Ax~